New Creation

I ran it this almost like someone placed this video in my way. I don't think the visual stuff would have connected with me a few years ago but today these things help me grasp huge concepts. I love that God speaks light in dark, life into lungs, and brings depth to our souls. Here are the lyrics

Holy Spirit hovering over the deep / Speak out the light and let it flood into me / Whisper the word that gave creation her form / I'm searching for a life that hasn't been there before / Speak light into the darkness / Breathe life into my lungs / Fill my soul as deep as the ocean / I'm reaching for your love / All that I can do is give it back to you / You've taken my old skin and made it new again / All that I can do is give it back to you / You've taken my old skin and made it new again / You have made me new , A new creation / All new, a new creation / Holy Spirit hovering over the deep / Bring out the colors that my heart's yet to see / The nights on fire for the warmth of your love / But every hour there's a risen sun / Speak light into the darkness / Breathe life into my lungs / Fill my soul as deep as the ocean / I'm reaching for your love / All that I can do is give it back to you / You've taken my old skin and made it new again / All that I can do is give it back to you / You've taken my old skin and made it new again / You have made me new , A new creation / All new, a new creation
New Creation from Pace Hartfield on Vimeo.

Sinking

What do you do when you feel like you are drifting in your relationship with God? It feels to me like I am in spiritual quicksand that keeps pulling me down where I can't reach Him anymore. For me anger, self control, and fear start to become problems. I struggle to get those sins under control it feels like a hopeless battle, pulling me down deeper, which leaves me feeling more distant. This is so real for me right now.

I am grateful I stumbled upon a book from John Piper today just to get my head right before I jumped into reading the Bible it was called "When I Don't desire God". I had read it before so I was just reading the areas I highlighted. I love this line I highlighted dealing with this problem of fighting to get rid of sin:

"The power of sin comes from its promise of pleasure and is meant to be defeated by the blood-bought promise of superior pleasure in God, not by raw human willpower. Willpower religion, when it succeeds, gets glory for the will. I produces legalists, not lovers."

I am quitting working in my power to make things right and instead running into true love. Not struggling in the quicksand and just let his love pull me up. I am repulsed by legalists probably because that is how I am working right now. I am so guilty of trying to save myself by fixing my problems. At least for today- All to Jesus I surrender.

Don't fall asleep

Being to comfortable can be dangerous.

“Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise

Ephesians 5:14-15

Crazy Week

I had a draining week last week. I spoke 4 times to youth, ran a flag football tournament, and preached this Sunday. God is so good, I really didn't feel like I spiritually had anything to give but I have had great response to Sunday's message. Terri thought I sounded angry and I believe I was a little bit. Hopefully righteous anger because I spoke on serving the church. I believe the Church is the hope of the world when it is working right. Ran across this quote by Mildred Cable getting ready for the sermon

"The greatest crime in the desert was to know where water was and to not tell it"

Jesus tells the woman at the well He is the living water the wells up to Eternal life. It is a crime when our churches don't clearly proclaim Jesus in this spiritual dry land. Often because we make church all about what we like not about serving Him. Our church, like most, is not reaching it full potential and it drives me crazy. I felt like a coach challenging and calling people to something greater than themselves. I am not going to lie to felt good, what Jesus wanted said, and extremely honest. Good for my heart.

Sharing your faith

I have no problem sharing my life just need to take more action when it comes to bringing the gospel in the conversations.
1 Thessalonians 2:8 - We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.

Here is a video that inspires me to get to work.

Home Alone

I'm home alone tonight. Boring but it has afforded me the chance to sit in silence and talk with God. I preach this weekend so really trying to connect with His desire for this weekends talk. Diving into Colossians 1 and trying to learn lessons from Paul about what serving the church should look like. One cool thing about the house being quiet is I listened to the words of the song "Please Forgive Me (Song of the Crow)" by William Fitzsimmons. Great Lyrics and good song for those thoughtful times. Here are the lyrics.

My demons walk with me
They told me not to leave them...alone
I put you on the tree
I tore your heart to pieces

You swept me off my feet
You gave your heart to me...alone
I left you out at sea
I left you there to plea

Please forgive me
Please please forgive me

My wife is incrediable.

I love my wife so much today. I love her everyday but today she left some notes for me to find when she went to her mom's house. One had a gift card to Little Caesars and the other, Starbucks. She know knows the way to my heart is through my poor eating habits. The gifts were great but the writing in the card was so powerful it gave me chills. I read it like 3 times over. She knows that words that speak life into my heart. One line said "I love you with all my heart and am so thankful for our love story and the legacy you leave as a husband and father." I needed to hear that. I want so much for her life to be all that she dreamed it could be. She is loving, purposeful, and driven to use every gift she has to other peoples lives richer. What a blessing to come home to a house that is a place of peace not strife because Gods Spirit is in us calling and empowering us to die to serve each other.. Often I fail but good to know that sometimes my love for her gets free of the chains of my selfishness.

What is love?

Last night I shared something God put on my heart with the youth. It was about true love and often we place all our hopes on other people to make us happy and complete. We hope that people can hold our world together. Then I heard this Taylor Swift song "Breathe" on httl://www.pandora.com that spoke to this feeling. Here are some lyrics. I highlighted the statements I found interesting:

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

So many people, like the girl in the song, place so much of their identity in the person with which they have a relationship. And when things end or people change their minds those people are without hope, confused, and in need of someone to rescue them. I was so guilty of that in High School trying to escape pressures and insecurities by placing all my cares and identity around my girlfriend. I wanted her to save me from fear and sadness. Both of us looking for things that the other person can't provide. Giving way to much away to get what will never be found in that relationship. It took me so long to figure out that people, even great people, don't have the capacity to hold your world together.

Colossians 1 says speaking of Jesus that:
¹⁵He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. ¹⁶For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. ¹⁷He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

Praise God everything is held together. God holds my life together. My marriage, my son, or my job cannot do that for me. Nothing or No one can fix my world but Jesus. I pray so much for me and the students at we would understand because it would save us such heartache. After we understand how to be loved can we love others.

Buying Experiences

Money burns a hole in my pocket. If I have money I want to spend it. Often when I am done I wonder why I have nothing tangible to show for it. I believe Terri and I are wise with our money but like most people we want new floors, lawn furniture, and cell phones. I realize money and things don't make us happy but often I need reminders. This reminder came from San Francisco State, they did a study and posted an article about where to invest your money. They, rightly, said in life experiences. Here are a few lines from the article.

The study demonstrates that experiential purchases, such as a meal out or theater tickets, result in increased well-being because they satisfy higher order needs, specifically the need for social connectedness and vitality -- a feeling of being alive.

Funny thing, In Genesis God says it is not good for man to be alone. Connection with other people brings a full life. Why do we make money decisions on personal wants not relationship needs? We choose poorly so often and we wonder why life is mundane and boring. Purchases go to things that distance us from those people we desperately need a strong relationship with. Items like video games and ipods instead of board games and gas money for trips. The study continues:

Experiences also lead to longer-term satisfaction. "Purchased experiences provide memory capital," Howell said. "We don't tend to get bored of happy memories like we do with a material object."

I desire more memory capital and a life full of happy memories. New floors will make me happy for a few days but a trip to see friends in Washington would provide life to my soul. I wish I could keep this in my mind but it often flies away. Like a balloon in Tripp’s hand without a firm grip it will fly away and he is sure to be sad and maybe cry. Without a firm grip on good on wise stewardship we will fly away into selfish spending creating a life full of emotional lows and sometimes tears. Lord help us be wise spenders of time and money.

Thin Places

Tripp is at that age where he doesn't want me to go to work. He cries, I hate it for him, and I love it for me. Feels great when I get to spend time with the family over the weekend. We went to the Zoo yesterday in Waco. It was perfect and Tripp wore himself out running. I really think He was the most excited to see the size of the Giraffes. He feel asleep quickly in the car on the way home. So we know it was a successful trip. Feels like so much of life is full of moments I wish we could bottle up to be opened up during the tough days. I would have bottled yesterday. Mark Batterson's book "Wild Goose Chase" he tells of the Celtic Christians had a name for places where heaven and earth seem to touch. They called them "thin places." My affections for God yesterday at the Zoo exceeded many worship services I attend. Seems like the world is full of bailouts, unemployment, and wars but praise God for giving family and experiences that is like a refuge from all troubles. I believe God gives "thin moments" all the time we just miss them in our own selfishness.

Did You Know

Crazy Video! Makes me wonder what kind of world we will live in soon.

Steelers

I watched the super bowl last night and was rooting for the Cardinals. Terri and I were both impressed with the way the Steelers coach, Mike Tomlin, carried himself. He looked so calm and confident. When I heard him speak after the game I just loved the way he approached the victory with such humility. Today, just looking through coverage of the game, I ran into this opinion piece Mike did for USA Today about the influence of his father. I loved it because I constantly seek motivation for being a husband and father. Here are my favorite lines:

I had big dreams when I was a child. But without my dad, those dreams might not have come true. He brought stability to my life. He made my world a safe place in which to think and to learn. And though not every boy may aspire to become a football coach, every father can aspire to become the dad of his child's dreams. But to make that a reality, fathers must choose daily to work toward that goal.
Mike Tomlin, Steelers Coach

My goal is that Tripp knows I love his mom. I want him to know I enjoy him and love him unconditionally. I want my faith to inspire him and not convert him by coercion. I hope to equip him with everything I know to help him become all God intends for him to be.

You can and should read the whole article here
http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2009/01/fatherhood-come.html